The meeting

Assalamualaikum,

Today, I met him after a few months. I was actually nervous to meet him. I was afraid to see if he has really forgotten me as someone he used to love. I was afraid to see that if he is more successful than me. yeah. I was bad. I don’t want to see him move on. I was selfish. How could I claim that I love him? 

Then I saw him. At first glance, you might think he looks okay. A hundred glances later, you can see that he's struggling. He's still searching for his true purpose. He's unstable. He's along in his task. I wish I can be there for him. Tapi, relationship is a two-way thing. It doesn't work if I'm the only persistent one.

Honestly, I’d rather see him smiling (as in being truly happy and legally) next to another woman than seeing his sad face and so troubled. I’d rather him to be more successful than me as long as he is happy and blessed by Allah in his life. Allah, help him please. Ease his burden. Let him be happy with his family. and let me have the courage to let him go.